Today is July 1, 2017. One year ago today, my precious great-grandson, Skyler James was born. What a joyous day it was! He was a beautiful baby boy who brought so much joy to his family. On July 29, 2016, our sweet baby boy started a new adventure in Heaven.
When I think back to that sunny, hot summer day, with its blue sky and singing birds, it is hard to imagine a pain so deep that it takes your breath away. I remember, when my son called me sobbing hardly able to breathe and me ninety – five miles away trying to calm him down. I had no idea the news he was trying to tell me between gulps of air and tears, would change my life, our lives forever. ” Mom, the baby died.” I replied, ” What? Whose baby?” His reply made my already skittish heart drop like a ton of bricks. ” Mom, Skyler died.” I did not believe what he was telling me. I didn’t want to believe the news. “Mom, it’s true. Skyler died.
After I hung up the phone, I cried and cried. I cried for the precious little boy with blue eyes and brown hair. I cried for his smile that captured my heart and for all the smiles I would never see again. I cried for all the different sounds that babies make, sounds that only he would make. I cried for his parents and his grandparents. I cried for his brother. I cried because I would never be able to hold him again in my arms and stare in his eyes. I cried and longed for his smile at that very moment. I cried for all the milestones we would not be a part of.
When the crying stopped, I thanked Jesus for giving us the time we had with Skyler. I do not have an answer as to why He chose to take him to Heaven on July 29, 2016, but Jesus knows. I prayed that morning. I prayed for strength for me and my family. I prayed for peace. And I prayed for Skyler. This is the thirteenth in the series of the Skyler letters. Writing has helped me with the grieving process. It has filled my heart with peace. And it is my hope that my words will reach those who have lost a loved one regardless of age and fill their hearts with peace, hope, and love.
I have decided that my letter to Skyler will not be answered today. However, tomorrow that little blue-eyed boy will send his letter to me. Dear readers; babies, and children of all ages are a precious gift from God: play with them, sing with them, read to them, laugh with them, encourage them, teach them right from wrong, but above all, love them unconditionally.
Today is your special day. Today we celebrate your first birthday! Three hundred and sixty-five days ago you were born. I miss you, sweetheart. I miss singing, Happy Birthday to you and watching you get a little messy eating your first cake. Okay, probably a lot messy! I bet your favorite cake would be chocolate. I wonder what your first words would have been and if you were able to say, ” Gigi.” I would have loved to hear that! You were very strong when you were born. I have a funny feeling that you would be running like the wind through my house. Or at least trying. Would you have loved dogs, cats, farm animals? I am thinking you would have loved them all. Skyler, would you have loved your grandpa’s swimming pool? Sometimes I daydream of you swimming with Preston, loving the water as much as he does. My arms want so badly to hug you. I often throw kisses to your home in Heaven, hoping that you will catch one and hold it close to your heart. Skyler, I want you always to remember, how much I love you and cherish your memory. I hope you had a wonderful birthday in Heaven! Write soon!