This is a story being guided by I don’t know what, but it needs to be written since it has been nagging at me for a bit. Truthfully, I really do not know where to begin, but maybe it will all come together by the end of the story.
I don’t know about you but I have been feeling rather antsy lately, but more so since the fires in California started. When I listen to the news and see the devastation, a little bit of my heart seems to chip away.
I continue to see the tear and fears each day at noon, while I eat my lunch and listen to the news. It is always a new man or woman being interviewed, but the look is the same. Chip, chip away at my heart.
So many people are unaccountable for, hopefully, they escaped the horrors and war zone look. But I fear some may not have been so lucky. Oh, the heartache some families will feel. Chip, chip, away at my heart.
Many pets and forest animals have crossed the Rainbow Bridge. I know the angels were busy escorting those precious animals to heaven. Add that stress to the loss of losing a home and everything you have, the pain must beyond belief. Chip, chip, away at my heart.
Each morning when I say my morning prayers, I ask for a coming together of all people regardless of their race, religious beliefs, or how they live their lives. I have never understood the thinking behind those who cannot accept anyone that is different.
Of course, we all look different! That was the plan when we were created. Can you imagine what the world would be like if we all looked alike? Thank goodness God knew what he was doing.
We are more alike than different. Take our hearts, for instance, they each beat, pumps blood, breaks when we hurt and feels like it will burst when we fall in love. And our brains, well they all have the same purpose, to think and learn.
It never ceases to amaze me how cruel some people can be. The color of one’s skin should never matter. It is the heart of each individual that is important. Chip, chip away at my heart.
When I visit our local shelter, I am amazed at the number of homeless folks who live there. It breaks my heart when I see men, women, and children struggling just to get through their day. Many of the homeless are mentally ill and need professional help, and counseling, along with proper medicine. They also need job training to learn a skill. Now, I need to be realistic and say that there are a few homeless who choose homelessness for reasons they only know.
When I go to volunteer at the shelter, my heart is touched by how grateful the residents are to receive a hot meal. A meal that we take for granted. Chip, chip, away at my heart.
Cruelty and abuse to children is just not acceptable. Children are a precious gift. They should be loved, taken care of and cherished. I do not understand how any person can be so hard-hearted to destroy a child through physical and verbal abuse and neglect. It is not acceptable. Chip, chip away at my heart.
And to those who are suffering from dementia, and Alzheimer’s, may God bless you as you journey away from your families in mind but not the body. You are loved beyond words. The number of those suffering from this terrible disease is growing including in my own family. Chip, chip away at my heart.
Those who are dealing with Cancer, Parkinson’s, MS, or any disease that has the potential to change your life, know that you are always in my thoughts. I have watched many suffer and lose their lives because of these horrible diseases. In fact, a few in my family are struggling, and many have passed on. Chip, chip away at my heart.
The tension and division in our country is weighing very heavily on my heart. We need to come together and once again, be one for all, all for one. One Nation Under God. Chip, chip away at my heart.
Last but not least, are the dogs, cats, and any animals that are being mistreated. What a shame it is when some folks feel the need to take their frustrations out on the very animals that just want to love them unconditionally. Chip, chip, away at my heart.
Something remarkable has happened. First, I feel calm, really calm. A calm that I have not felt for a while. Maybe I just had to get everything off my chest.
As I was writing this, I realized that the antsy feeling is actually a feeling of not being able to help. It is a feeling of helplessness.
You see, I am a caregiver, a hopeless caregiver who asked God every morning, to be put in a place of need. A place where I could help, with His guidance to make a difference A place where I could hug sadness away, offer my shoulder to cry on, and say to someone, ” It will be okay.” That was before the antsy feeling set in.
Now, I know what has happened. I left my antsy feeling take over, get the best of me, frighten me to the point that I wanted to crawl in bed and cover my head.
That is not who I am. It seems that the antsy feeling was stronger than my faith. The fear I was feeling was creeping in trying to take hold. However, reading the words I wrote, I realized that I am stronger than that. It’s strange how those feelings can rob us of what we know to be true. We are loved more than we could ever imagine. He gives us strength when we are weary. And, we are never alone. It is enlightening how those beautiful words can chase fear from our hearts.
I may not be able to go to California and help, or stop the hate, but I can pray, and pray some more. And believe in my heart that those prayers will be answered. I may not be able to stop all the hate, but I can love all those I meet regardless of the color of their skin or where they are on their path of life. I can make a difference no matter where I am.
And after months of the chip, chip, chipping away, my heart, can now start to heal. And that is a blessing to me.
When the “Antsy’s” get to you, remember how much you are loved. Remember to be strong, brave and courageous. Live your life, do not fear. Help those you can and live a happy life.