It is hard to believe that today is December 9th. Although the air was cold, it was still a beautiful day. As I was thinking about my story, my mind seemed to get stuck on the word, “still.” It is not uncommon for ideas, words, and pictures to run like a movie through my mind. So, when “still” would not give up, I knew that a story was cooking. However what direction my story would take was up in the air. And I do mean up in the air. Before I write, I look up and pray for guidance, then read some scripture, and finally, I pray for wisdom. When the story is finished, I always give thanks.
I hope my Christmas story; STILL SPIRIT SUNDAY, will fill your heart with faith, hope, and peace.
Did you ever take a quiet walk on a path, through the woods, or down a road when silence seemed to drift all around you? Or maybe, the stillness happened after a snowstorm, when you took a step outside and just breathed in the stillness of nature. I like to think that at that very moment, everything was right with the world, even if it was only in a little corner.
Starting this story, took me back when I lived on a country road in Bushkill Township. My neighbors were few and far between and as much as enjoyed my home it could get pretty lonely, especially after my first husband passed away.
Lambert died, December 11, 1994, of a massive heart attack. I was devastated. During that time, my family, and friends were there for me, but still, I could not understand why God had to take him to heaven. He was only fifty-one, and his family needed him.
I struggled with my faith that winter, grief had taken over. I began to doubt just about everything. Until the day when God heard my cry for help. I still remember it as if it were yesterday. It was two years after his death, on a cold January day. We had missed many school days due to a very fierce snowstorm which left us with several inches of snow, packed down with a thick layer of ice.
I had the brainy idea that I was going to try to shovel as much of my driveway as I could. Thinking back, I don’t know what I was thinking. I just knew that I had to be outside. I dressed warm, with layers of warm clothes and two pairs of socks that I thought would keep me warm. Boy, was I wrong! Although it was still and peaceful, little, did I know what was about to happen?
As I tried to shovel, I realized that it was an impossible task. Then my emotions of the last two years took over, and the tears streamed down my face. I remember that it was so cold those tears, started to freeze on my cheeks. At that very moment, I looked up to heaven and shouted in my loudest voice, ” I can’t do this anymore! Lambert, I can’t do this anymore! Please help me!” I no sooner had those words out of my mouth, when coming over the hill, was the loudest noise I had heard in a long time.
I looked up, and there was a piece of equipment with a huge plow on the front. I believe it was a caterpillar machine. The driver asked if I needed help and of course, I answered, “Yes!” He told me he would do what he could.
I ran in the house to get this nice man some money for his time as I heard the sound of the machine pushing the icy snow. Before I could get to the front door, I noticed that it was quiet. I thought maybe he had turned his motor off. But to my surprise, he was gone. In that short amount of time, he had pushed the dreaded ice and snow to the back of the driveway, then went on his way. As I looked down, the road, I said, ” Thank you,” to Lambert and God. That day, in the still of snow and ice, faith and hope started to tickle my heart, and from that day forward I knew that I was not alone.
Then one year after that the awakening, I asked God to send me someone wonderful to fall in love with and share my life.
I sat on my deck one afternoon when it was a still cool day, and talked to Lambert. I told him how much I loved him, and always would. I thank him for our family and for the years of happiness we shared. I asked him to help God choose someone kind, honest, supportive, and loving. It took another year, and a frog, to find through a friend, the man who I knew Lambert had a hand in choosing. Rick and I were married, on December 16th, 2000. I know in my heart that Lambert was there with a big smile from ear to ear, along with God’s Spirit as I started my new life.
When I think back to that still winter day, peace warms my heart. Because I now know that I genuinely was never alone. I understand that God worked to help me find my way back from grieving to loving again.
Since that day, my faith has continued to grow daily. As we get closer to Christmas, let’s remember the reason for the season, love more, give a little more, forgive and understand we are all loved beyond words. And one more thing, everything has a way of working out, even if we can not see it.
It is in the stillness that we can hear God speaking to us. Listen with your heart. And remember, never give up.