Today, was a tranquil day. I stayed home and took some time for me. I really needed it. Since my sister’s passing, I have been feeling tired, a little irritable, sad, and lost. I know what I am experiencing is part of the grieving process; however, I just wished I had some energy.
So today, I read, worked on my writing, listened to music, and looked out the window. I also, dog sat my grand-puppy, Maverick. Mav is a teacup Yorke. He is as cute a button and sweet. He is exactly what I needed. Every time, I would lie on the couch, Mav would jump up, curl up with his head in the bend of my arm and together, we took a nap. I cannot begin to explain the calmness that flooded my body, and filled me with peace. A peace that lasted for as long as my eyes were closed.
Today, I smiled more than I have in a while. Mav and my husband saw to that by entertaining me with a few games of catch in the tv room. For a little dog, he sure is competitive. Animals have a way of pulling us out of the dark and into the light. I was sad when my daughter came to pick up the little silver, brown and black sweetheart.
Although I love to read, it seems that I am having a tough time concentrating. I cannot begin to tell you how many times, I have read the same page over and over. But I will continue to read until my heart and mind are working together again.
Grieving takes a toll on our lives. However, the good news is that with time, I will be able to breeze through my books and fall in love with the words that tell a story. And hopefully reading each page just once.
Although I love all music, well maybe I should clarify and say that rap is not one of my favorites. However, music soothes my soul; especially the violin. Today, I listened to the violin station on my Pandora. What a beautiful way to chase the feelings of emptiness away.
As far as my writing, it has always been a way to help me deal with grief. When I write the words, then the sentences, which turn into a story, it fills me with a soothing peace. A tranquil feeling in my heart.
All in all, it was a good day, a terrific day, a better day than yesterday. A peaceful kind of day filled with a range of feelings and that is okay.
Tomorrow will be a new day, a day for my heart to heal a little more than today. With time, lots of time, my soul will be whole again, but for now, I will grieve the memory of my baby sister. Because that is what I need to do, for however long it takes.
I am praying for all those men, women, and children who have suffered a loss. My heart is with you.
My name is Cynthia Jean DeLuca. I am a wife, mother, grandmother, and great grandmother. I believe in following your dreams and never giving up! Helping others is very important to me, for when we help others, we help ourselves. It is my hope to make a difference in the lives of children and grown-ups. My hobbies are writing, quilting and painting. I am a novice at all three but, enjoy them immensely. I grew up on a farm with no indoor plumbing and no heat in our upstairs. I love life and have a very strong faith. Working on inspirational short stories for grown- ups. Love to speak on topics that touch my heart.
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